The Prickly Pineapple

Question of the day

2008-01-01T19:28:00.001-06:00

Where do old songs go to die?

Objet du Jour

2007-12-30T17:12:00.000-06:00

Today's featured object is the enemy of my life.

Behold the TV tray.

Note how it was one of the first items gracing my home.

I heap upon my TV tray a hefty helping of my iniquities. It is an enabling item. How, you ask? Excellent question, dear friend. It has enabled me to conduct my daily activities from the couch and in front of the television.

Enough said, people. I have looked the enemy in the eye, and now, so have you.

Holiday truths

2007-12-21T09:37:00.001-06:00

When it comes to this time of year, there are people who are quite vocal about the importance of focusing on the truths about the holidays. In keeping with this spirit is my question of the day/season.

True or False, people:

Trans-Siberian Orchestra is the new Mannheim Steamroller.

What do you think?

Happy Christmas, everyone. Happy birthday, Jesus.

Question of the day

2007-11-03T02:00:00.001-05:00

Innie, or outie?

Question of the day

2007-09-19T19:02:00.001-05:00

If you are cooking a potato in the microwave,

what happens if you don't poke holes in it beforehand?

Have I already asked this question before?

Craving

2007-09-02T23:48:00.003-05:00

Suddenly I am taken with the idea of scrambled eggs with ketchup.

What?

What's cookin'

2007-08-19T13:16:00.000-05:00

A new group of friends. Hot, humid weather. Lack of time. The overwhelming temptation to just go to the store and buy something. Enough pride not to allow me to do that. All these factors led to me busting an old, old, old "recipe" for tonight's potluck.

PEANUT BUTTER NOODLES

Ingredients:

A blob of peanut butter
A couple of counts of soy sauce
Sugar to taste
Sesame oil
A splash of vinegar (optional)
Chicken, cooked and torn into shreds
Cucumber, julienne
Green onions, diced for sprinkling
Chopped peanuts for sprinkling
Noodles of your choice

Directions:

Mix peanut butter, soy sauce, and sugar. Add hot water for desired consistency. Add a little bit of sesame oil and, if desired, vinegar. It's a beautiful brown sauce with a bit of a thicker consistency; if it's too thick, put it in the microwave for a few seconds or add more hot water.

Cook the noodles al dente. Toss with a bit of sesame oil, then add cucumbers and chicken and toss until mixed. The last steps are to add sauce and mix until coated, then sprinkle with green onions and peanuts. Save those last steps until immediately before devouring.

Enjoy!

Late entry

2007-07-30T21:43:00.001-05:00

Remember contest #4?

I forgot to mention an answer.

Velveeta.

What is that stuff, anyway?

Object of the day

2007-04-06T10:47:00.000-05:00

Hello, friends of the Prickly!

I promise I was planning on posting some lovely new photographs of another Chihuly piece.

On that day, the tourists, all of them except for one couple, Camodidi, and me, bumbled around the gift shop of the museum and completely ignored the art piece. I took some photos of which I was rather proud. (Imagine that. The Prickly Pineapple, proud?) The next day, the digital demons deleted the entire contents of my camera's memory card. I lost some irreplacable photos.

Oh well. What can I do, besides consider going back to using a camera with film in it?

In other news, on the same day I was introduced to Chihuly's Fern Green Tower I also became acquainted with the concept of the Klein bottle. The maths of it escapes my interest, but it's an interesting puzzlement in that its inside is also its outside. Think about that one. I couldn't find any excellent photos of it on the web, so here is a fair one.

And that is all.

Confessions of a food addict.

2007-03-07T09:42:00.000-06:00

I don't know, folks.

Is it wrong that I'm enthralled, captivated, put into a daze by shows like this?

Featured website

2007-02-08T15:04:00.000-06:00

I've decided to make February the month during which I celebrate my love for food.

I know I've mentioned it before, but you've gotta check out the Samurai Delicatessen.

Looking at that site makes me feel better about life. This is why we at the Prickly want to share it with you.

Party!

2007-02-07T19:59:00.000-06:00

Okay people.

No one else seems to be stepping up, so I'm having a Chinese New Year party. Aw, yeah! You're all invited.

But what to make? I'm not sure I can create a menu that everyone will enjoy. Don't want to go too authentic, as the masses won't be able to handle that (nian gao? Classic and easy to make, but not popular).

Here's my menu. Let me know if you think there's anything I should add or subtract:

Dishes:

Potstickers, pork and vegetarian, with my own homemade special sauce.
Egg rolls or spring rolls. I don't think I'll have time to make these in mass quantity, so I'll have to visit Sam's or Costco I guess. So much for food snobbery.
Shu mai, probably shrimp. Classic dim sum fare, and I want to use my steamer.
Lettuce wraps. This actually is a traditional snack, please don't give P.F. Chang's any credit for it! (p= poser, f= fake)

Small snacks:

Wasabi peas. Eeee hee hee hee!
Japanese rice snack mix.
Wait, why are all my snacks Japanese?! Fine. Let's add some Taiwanese sausage with garlic on a table water cracker or toast points or some other carb vector.
Veggie tray. Eh? Just in case. I'll make a Thai (Thailand, not Taiwan) style peanut butter & soy based sauce for dipping, along with the traditional ranch dressing.
Kim chee. Maybe.
Shrimp chips. For some color. Maybe.

Beverages:

Soda. Duh. Maybe some Apple Sidra, if my guests prove they deserve to try it.
Wine, one red, one white, just 'cause.
Beer. Kirin and Tsingtao, and some ghetto Taiwan Beer if I can find it. Ha! And some Blue Moon of course, and maybe something more mainstream, but I don't know what.
Tea. I have no idea how I'm going to serve it to people though. Making a big pot of it and pouring it into styrofoam seems so wrong.

So what do you think? Should I fry up some rice? Should I make noodles (a CNY food representing long life)? Or fish? Or black-eyed peas? I think I'm already too ambitious as it is. I don't knoooooow!

Al dente

2007-02-07T19:45:00.000-06:00

Hmm.

So I got some pasta from a restaurant the other day, and though the flavor was good, the pasta was soft. Really soft. Soft enough that I didn't enjoy the dish.

This led me to consider the idea that I am spoiled. I am, I suppose. I cook pasta quite often, and it's always al dente. It's also always the same brand. And the parmesean (or romano) cheese I put on top is never powdered; it's grated. I don't eat the powdered stuff out of the slender green can, or from the shaker on the table. Not that I look down on it; I just don't eat it.

And sushi? It's so popular right now, and so many of my coworkers want to go out for it all the time. I daren't tell them that some of the places we go make dishes that seem rather mediocre to me, despite their trendy and mod ambience. Don't get me wrong, I adore sushi; I've just had so many lacklustre pieces lately. (Compared to what? I guess the sushi I had in Japan and Taiwan. Not a fair comparison.)

As I careen into maturity, am I becoming a snob? (Or, as I get long in the tooth, am I a snob for "firm to the tooth"?) Does this make me high-maintenance, and therefore difficult to be around or spend time with/go out to eat with? After all, when I look back on my life and the friends I've had, the friends I've been closest to have been the friends with whom I share meals. The last thing I need to do is become more fussy about my food.

Sprinkles

2007-01-21T23:16:00.000-06:00

So what's the deal with sprinkles? They make your ice cream or cupcake nice and colorful, but they don't really add flavor, do they? In fact, they're kind of chalky and not good, and when they melt they leave really ugly runny color. I don't think I'm pro-sprinkles. Anybody sprinkles fans out there care to explain the appeal?

Song for the day

2007-01-06T12:07:00.000-06:00

Pickled eggs in the corner store
Candy, pops, chips, counter JAAAAR!
Eyes bright, mouth watering
Reach in with hands, not tongue
Fingers wading in vinegar and brine
Grab me a pickled egg
Pickled eggs, pickled eggs, pickled eggs!
Oh how I love to eat
Piiiicklllled eeeeeeggs...

Food

2007-01-02T23:38:00.000-06:00

Wah.

I haven't posted here in, like, a really long time.

Like, so long that I'm reading the posts on this front page and not recognizing them! I'm learning interesting things about myself.

Scary.

But thanks for continuing to come by!

Part of the reason I haven't posted here in so long is that this was meant to be a coffeehouse discussion forum type place (notice that many or most of the posts involve questions for you to answer) (see Puffintoad and Eschemo Survivor's dialogue below) and people don't participate. All the other posts are about food, because I love it so.

So.

But.

The other day I came home from the grocery store as excited as a kid on Christmas morning (and it wasn't even Christmas— it was two days after). Why? Because I'd just bought a bunch of my favorite comfort foods, and I had all afternoon and evening off to EAT THEM! I tore into that stuff like a-- well, like a kid on Christmas morning... but I already said that.

Ninety minutes into my glut on salt and vinegar potato chips, mallomars (new one), parmesean slices on table water crackers plus and minus sopressata sausage slices, granny smith apple dipped in caramel, sushi, pasta, etc. all with an incidental (i.e. not typically my favorite) sauvignon blanc, I wondered to myself, how do other people do this?

So. What are your favorite comfort foods?

Theme music

2006-09-06T23:20:00.000-05:00

Yes. You know that I am all about themes.

If you had a theme song, what would it be?

(Mine is Short Skirt, Long Jacket by Cake.)

Skillz

2006-08-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

I used to have mad skillz. I'm not so sure anymore. But it makes me wonder,

What mad skillz do you have?

Just curious.

By request

2006-08-05T20:07:00.000-05:00

If anyone has some suggested reading material for the coffee tables at the Prickly, your comments are welcome*. And I request that any links to my blogs be associated with my pseudonym and not my real name, please.

Addendum: By "anyone" I meant "not internet marketers". And by "welcome" I meant "this is a play on the Prickly-Pineapple-as-a-hospitable-establishment theme," not "come and advertise on my blog." Just to clear things up.

And now here's this thing 'cause I got tagged.

1. One book that changed your life:
L’Etranger, by Albert Camus. I guess.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
Graham Greene’s A Burnt Out Case. There are several books that fall into this category, but I mention this one because I have read it maybe three times, and still I can’t remember a thing about it. I keep thinking I might like it, but I don’t think I do.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
A magically neverending blank book in which I could write. A pen that never runs dry would be nice to go along with that.

4. One book that made you laugh:
Message in a Bottle, by Nicholas Sparks. Because it was awful, awful! Horrible, cheesy, gag me with a spoon awful! I was reading it because my boyfriend at the time asked me to. (cough, snicker) THAT should have been a huge clue that he and I weren’t meant to be.

5. One book that made you cry:
The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini. I cried all the way through the book, for hours straight after I finished the book, and off and on for days after I finished it. I grieved for about three weeks thereafter.

6. One book that you wish had been written:
How to Forget

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
The Rules. That stupid dating book. I haven’t read it, but I’m pretty sure it’s messed things up for us all.

8. One book you’re currently reading:
Moss and Adams’ Heart Disease in Infants, Children, and Adolescents (Including the Fetus and Young Adult). The two volume set. Of course.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
The Holy Bible in its entirety. I confess I haven’t read it all yet.

10. Now tag five people:
Saara
D
Thérèse
KiltedJedi
Puffintoad

Question of the day

2006-08-05T12:38:00.000-05:00

Is it true that if you don't poke holes in it, a potato will explode when you cook it in the microwave?

What do you think?

I want...

2006-07-31T22:24:00.000-05:00

Pocky.

Gimme.

Fruit

2006-07-18T16:50:00.000-05:00

Fruit is a good thing.

It's sweet. It's small. It's portable (for the most part). It's a little dessert in its own little serving size, with its own little packaging.

It's got fiber and vitamins.

Why don't we all eat more fruit? I mean, really. It's such an ideal food.

If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?

Gasp! Did someone say durian?

A sad day at the Prickly

2006-07-15T19:27:00.000-05:00

Life hands me lemons left and right, and yet I am out of lemon juice.

Public Service Announcements

2006-06-28T22:42:00.000-05:00

Because we at the Prickly Pineapple are concerned over your health and well-being, we take this break to inform you of the following.

1) A child can drown in as little as two inches of water. July is the peak month for water-related morbidity and mortality. Flotation devices such as water wings and other floaty toys do not decrease the incidence of submersion events. It takes less than one minute of submersion for brain damage to begin. Please limit your family's activities wisely and accordingly.

2) Bats carry rabies more frequently than any other animal. If you see one, call animal control. Do not attempt to capture it yourself. If you see one in the daytime, it is most likely a sick one. Bat scratches/bites are often not apparent on children. If you have children and find a bat in your house, seek medical attention for them immediately.

That is all.

Just for fun

2006-06-24T16:27:00.000-05:00

Question of the day

2006-06-24T15:56:00.000-05:00

Okay, folks.

What's your favorite candy?

Doug started it. The man knows his candy. And my curiosity is piqued.

I can't think of mine right now. I never was very good at picking favorites. Ferrero Rocher comes to mind, but that's not the real answer...

I'll think about it. In the meantime, what's your answer?

Addendum: I remembered. My fav is Reece's Pieces. Duh.

Guess what I'm thinking

2006-06-16T16:47:00.000-05:00

Fifty PricklePoints™ to whomever can correctly guess the answer I have in my head to the following question.

Where do roly-polies go to die?

Memory-from-nowhere moment

2006-06-12T15:42:00.000-05:00

Did any of you ever use twist-ties to make rings and wear them on your fingers when you were a kid?

I ask because I just found a twist-tie on my desk, and without thinking slipped it over my finger as though it were a ring. Then I looked down and realized what I'd done. (Left middle finger, if you must know.)

Way back when, my mother disallowed me to do the twist-tie ring thing really, because she was afraid I'd scratch my face.

Contest #5 is closed.

2006-06-07T23:07:00.000-05:00

And we have a winner!

The winner is Saara, who is the only contestant to have submitted photos for all twenty-six categories. I also happen to know that she went out and took many or most of her photos especially for the contest, which gives her pictures bonus specialness.

Be sure to go to the contest page at least once more for a look at all the submissions. They were all great, as I knew I could expect from the fabulous people who read my blogs. I have yet to go through and designate which photos were my favorite out of each category (I can't figure out the html to do what I want to do. Maybe I won't do it, because it doesn't really matter, and why play favorites?), but here's the PricklePointage™ from the contest:

Saara 210
Eschemo Survivor 155
Puffintoad 125
Nachodogg 80
Alleycat 45
L.L. 10

Congratulations to our winners, and thanks to all of you who submitted photos. I had fun and hope that you did too.

Oh and to those of you who said you'd participate and did not, a big fat raspberry. Thhbhbhbhbhbpt.

2006-06-06T17:10:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to the Eschemo Survivor!

Deadline

2006-06-05T07:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, people.

As per the official contest rules,

Contest #5 ends tomorrow. TOMORROW! I can't believe so many of you haven't submitted pictures!

No late entries will be accepted.

Hurry! Get your photos in!

Announcement

2006-06-04T14:07:00.000-05:00

(clears throat)

I want Heidi to start a blog.

Start a blog, Heidi!

(Addendum: I see that my powers of supraliminal suggestion have worked, and so it has come to pass. Yessss! It is not long before I start using this power on all of you! Muahahahahahaha! Well, for good, not for evil...)

Beauty

2006-05-31T21:24:00.000-05:00

Hm. I'm curious....

Five PricklePoints™ to each one who seriously considers this question and answers it in earnest (as in, not jokingly):

What is the most beautiful thing?

(addendum: let thing=noun)

Today I am feeling...

2006-05-28T22:24:00.000-05:00

Today I am feeling...

2006-05-27T00:19:00.000-05:00

... Domo. Indeed.

Two weeks

2006-05-23T13:16:00.000-05:00

Two weeks, folks.

Two weeks left to get your photo submissions in for Contest #5. We're over halfway done with the contest.

Submit by 11:59 CST on 06/06/06.

Yay!

2006-05-20T00:52:00.000-05:00

The photos are rolling in! Thanks everybody!

Just to let you know, there will be a lag between the time you submit them and the time I post them. This is partly because I want to review them, but mostly because I've had a busy work schedule lately and I haven't been able to keep up my blogs for real.

There are some really fun photos to see; be sure to check them out! And if you wanna play, the deadline for submissions is 11:59 PM CST on June 6.

Luvya!

-- CB

Craving

2006-05-13T13:14:00.000-05:00

An egg salad sandwich. With sweet gherkin pickles cut up in it. On white bread (I don't care for white bread) with the crusts cut off (I always eat the crust because I think only brats refuse to eat bread crust). Completely bizarre.

This sort of craving is difficult to satisfy. It is impractical to make egg salad sandwiches for one person, because one is usually left with a large batch of egg salad that one is sick of eating. It is slightly risky to purchase egg salad— I mean, come on. Eggs AND mayonnaise? Salmonella city.

I guess I'll just have to deal with it.

Step up!

2006-05-10T01:02:00.000-05:00

Heyah, folks! Puffintoad's taken a commanding lead in Contest #5!

Click here to see her first several entries.

When are you gonna step up?

Craving

2006-05-07T21:17:00.000-05:00

Cookies. Fresh-baked cookies, and a kiss.

CONTEST #5!!!

2006-05-05T05:55:00.000-05:00

Contest #5 is a photo scavenger hunt!

Here's what you do.

1. Below is a list of things to capture in your photos. Take pictures.

2. Send the photos to me. E-mail them, send 'em in the mail, post a link to them, send them by instant messenger, whatever. I will keep track. You don't have to send them all at once, either. Submit them whenever.

3. You get PricklePoints™ for each captured item you submit. And that's it! How easy is that?

5 PricklePoints™ for each picture, but
10 PricklePoints™ for each picture that is the best in its category, and
50 extra PricklePoints™ if you submit photos for all twenty-six categories.

4. The contest ends at midnight, June 7, 2006. That means get your submissions in my hot little hand (paw) by 11:59 PM CST on 06/06/06. K? I'll tally the points for you. And everyone will be a winner!

Now for the photo subjects:

Arch
Bubble(s)
Camobunny (10 for a camobunny, 20 for the best. No likeness- or identity-revealing pics of the real me, please, or you get disqualified completely.)
Doctor
Ennui
Fart
Gum
Hospitality
Ice cream
Juggling
Kilt
Life
Moxie
Noodles
Oops
Prickly
Quiet
Recreation
Snowflake(s)
Tall thin dude
Upside-down
Vehicle
Web
X (and by that I mean 'X')
Yawn
Zero

The fine print:

Be aware these photos will be displayed on the Prickly Pineapple Contest Page.
I'm the judge, and reserve the right to judge and give or withhold points however I please.
You can be creative (please do!) but you'll get no points if you take a photo of something that really doesn't count. Like, if I ask for an apple, the apple of your cheek would count, and the Big Apple would count. But if you were to photograph an orange and say something artsy about how it's an orange that really really wants to be an apple and feels like an apple, but you just can't tell in the photo, that doesn't count.
You have to take these photos yourself. Don't just swipe someone else's image off the web. Although web images in photos might be okay.
Submit as many photos as you like and I will display them, but you only get points for one photo per category.
No obscenity or the like. It will be removed. Because it's my contest and I say so. I reserve the right to judge what's obscene too.

Alright, now hop to it! Have fun!

More muzak

2006-05-05T04:18:00.000-05:00

Miles Davis.

The essence. How could you mess with Miles?

They did it. They took "So What?" and they killed it.

This is sacrilege.

Tomorrow

2006-05-04T07:02:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Contest #5 starts tomorrow!

Are you ready?

Do you have a camera?

Moving on

2006-05-04T01:16:00.000-05:00

Contest #3 is now closed.

The winners were Ray and Puffintoad. No one could sing me the song. Too bad, 'cause it's been stuck in my head since the contest started and if you listen carefully, you'll hear me humming it.

Contest #4 is also closed.

The runner-up was NachoDogg, with his photographic proof of a disgusting dish of squid babies. These were not just like calamari served whole, folks. They had innards. Grey, creamy, lumpy innards. And they were small and slimy, and piled on top of one another. They jiggled when the table was bumped. Ick.

The winner? Puffintoad, with her entry of dead-mystery-grub. It was in a bowl and meant to be eaten, which detracts only slightly from the ickiness of eating a grub.

To beat that, one would have had to submit something quite bizarre or nasty indeed. That would have included anything glandular, fecal, or gonadal. Anything still alive would most definitely have won. Also, any blood product would have been a strong candidate. The most disgusting thing I've ever eaten was a bite of blood "cake" out of a soup. It was salty and squikky. I don't recommend it.

Thanks for playing. Puffintoad has a commanding lead, and she deserves it since she's really representin'. Well, she's participating. I'm slightly surprised there wasn't more participation in this contest, but oh, well. I'm telling myself that you're saving yourselves for...*

*see next post

Wah.

2006-05-03T17:24:00.000-05:00

The muzak! The muzak!

Somehow they managed to putrefy "A Night in Tunisia," whose inherent coolness I thought would make it immune to muzakian nauseating forces.

I was wrong.

Potluck night

2006-05-02T22:05:00.000-05:00

I know potluck night should be the last night one would want to try out a new recipe, but that seems to be what always happens with me. I thought maybe I'd kill two birds with one stone and try to satisfy last night's craving as well as fulfill my potluck requirements.

I purchased the brussels sprouts, but I did not cook them out of fear. I haven't cooked brussels sprouts before. And I know that if you cook them poorly, they come out very very bad indeed (despite the fact that I am an all around good gal, honest. I wouldn't be the bad influence).

So instead I looked through Epicurious.com and found this recipe. As you can see from its 683 reviews, it's a popular one. Try it at home for yourself!

Contest #5 in 3 days! Get ready!

No X's

2006-05-02T12:18:00.000-05:00

So it's a consensus.

Nobody wants the 1000 PricklePoint™ prize of a kiss from the CamoBunny. I hereby retract that prize and replace it with a random bag-o-stuff in the style of Woot!™, who calls theirs a random bag-o-crap, or a BoC. If you think about it, it should be called a bag-o-random-crap, or BoRC. Making mine a BoRS. And if I could add a C-H-T to the end of that, I'd have something rather clever indeed. How about bag-o-random-stuff-collected-from-here-and-there?

So. 1000 PricklePoints™ wins you a BoRSCHT. Good luck everybody!

Also. Nine-hundred-ninety-nine PricklePoints™ to anyone who helps get my place clean. Just kidding. Sort of.

Craving

2006-05-01T10:12:00.000-05:00

Brussels sprouts.

I tried them for the very first time on Saturday. And they are good. They seem to me like a little bitty cross between a cabbage and an artichoke.

And now I'm craving them.

Bizarre.

Do tell,

2006-04-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

What's the grossest or most bizarre thing you've ever eaten?

I was just thinking about this the other day, and thought it'd be fun to find out.

I'll go first. For me, I think maybe fish gas bladder soup. Maybe? Oh, actually, no. But it's a good first example...

Now you go.

Edit: I've been thinking about this, and I think it has good potential as a contest. Hmm, but I've hyped up Contest #4 so. Weeell, whaddya think? I'm thinking that since PricklePoints™ seem to be in demand, I'll give twenty to whomever can impress me the most with their freaky foodstuff or disgusting dish. Ten points to anyone who submits a picture of your actual experience. Let's make THIS one Contest #4 and THAT one Contest #5! Okay? Okay! Go!

... and this is an election year

2006-04-27T18:42:00.000-05:00

Here's the track from Nixon in China that has the quote in question.

I find it rather unpleasant to listen to, actually.

Obviously, the remaining PricklePoints™ are now off the table.

Soooooo, Contest #3.1 is closed. Thanks for playing! Sorry if you felt that it was too hard. I guess I was proving to myself that I could make up a contest without a Google-able answer. Congrats to the winner!

Stay tuned for Contest #4, which will be waaaaay more fun and easy to play.

I PricklePromise.

(addendum: i apologize if there is anything obscene on the file host website. believe me, i am looking for a new file host.)

Contest #3.1

2006-04-21T13:47:00.000-05:00

Who wants PricklePoints™? Do you?

Contest #4 will be up and running soon. Be on the lookout. It should be pretty exciting. In the meantime, you can still win PricklePoints™. Firstly, there are 75 PricklePoints™ still up for grabs from Contest #3. Secondly, here's Contest #3.1 (same premise, different details):

Name the musical in which the following phrase is sung:

He's spit into the wind before, and will again.

Fifty PricklePoints™ for the name of the musical. An extra ten if you can name its real-life reference (the historical reference, not the meaning). Ninety-nine PricklePoints™ if you can sing it to me.

Good luck. If you get this one, you not only win the PricklePoints™ but you also win a little respect from me.

Addendum: My bad. It's an opera rather than a musical, making this question that much more difficult.

Hard core

2006-04-20T16:58:00.000-05:00

Does this happen to everyone, and it's just that I in particular am bothered by it more than others?

I always get the core of the lettuce. Always have.

I pointed this out to CamoDidi when we were younger. Ever since then, each time I got the core of the lettuce in my salad (which was each time we had salad), he would point and laugh while I feigned great exasperation. We thought mom was giving it to me but it would also happen when we went out to eat.

I don't like that core part of the lettuce. It is disproportionately high in the stalky stuff, the xylemy phloemy vascular part. I don't like the stalky part, even on the outside leaves. It squikks against your teeth and it has a bad flavor, like wet anemic dirt. And salad dressing doesn't stick to it either, so there's no covering it up.

One of the first ways I started exercising my freedom as an adult was to stop eating that part of the lettuce. Because I didn't have to, and there was no one around who could make me.

Still, every time I get a salad that someone else has prepared, there it is. It usually appears about halfway through. In the corner, under a lovely leaf or cucumber slice. The core.

Who conspires against me?

Contesting my contests

2006-04-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Dissatisfied with how brief contest #3 was? Heck, I would be. It was won in less than an hour. Although there are still 75 PricklePoints™ up for grabs from it.

Fret not. Contest #4's a-brewin', with opportunities for multiple winners, major pointage, and maybe even some fun for the contestants.

Get your cameras ready...

Oh, and in the future, dogging the design of my contests (RAY), which are designed the way they are for a reason, gets some of your PricklePoints™ taken away, however I see fit.

Contest #3: Equipoise

2006-04-18T22:21:00.000-05:00

One thousand PricklePoints™ to the person who points me toward THE right house to buy. Seriously.

No?

Okay. In that case, here's contest #3:

Fifty PricklePoints™ to the first person who can name a major musical in which the word "equipoise" is sung. Ten additional points if you can tell me its real-life reference in that particular song. Ninety-nine PricklePoints™ total (and maximum) if you sing it to me, at least enough of it that I can recognize it.

On your mark... Get set...

Go!

Edit: Ray wins the first 50 PricklePoints™, submitting his answer at 11:05 PM my time. But he sent his answer in to me without posting his answer in a comment. So I'll give 40 to Puffintoad, for being the first to answer in a comment. And she gets 10 for the real-life reference. BUT...

Neither Ray nor Puffintoad could sing it to me, because they both didn't know and Googled it. Which is totally okay and within the rules. Now, singing it to me would still be of high value indeed. So 75 PricklePoints™ if you sing it to me (with deduction because the tune has been named for you). Puffintoad and Ray are no longer eligible to win these 75, because I said so.

Takers?

Pricklepoints™

2006-04-17T07:44:00.000-05:00

... whose name I feel like changing to PricklePoints™.

Last night someone said something to the effect of "What do I have to do to get some flurkin' PricklePoints™ around here?"

The answer to that question, to be obnoxiously curt, is "Do what I say to do when I say I'll give you PricklePoints™ to do it." Of course I wouldn't leave it at that but that I can't explain it any better. Oh, yes, there will be more contests for PricklePoints™. Win a contest, and the points are yours.

The bigger question is, "What are my PricklePoints™ worth?"

To be honest, part of that depends on what worth you give them. First of all, there is the glory of simply having PricklePoints™. Then there is the greater glory of having more PricklePoints™ than someone else. It may very well be, however, that you don't care about your PricklePoints™. In that case, feel free to give them to someone who might.

PricklePoints™ shall be redeemable for things. You know, like the prize case at Chuck E. Cheese's. You will have to get lots of them indeed though. You really ought to save for something big.

You've caught me on the fact that I hadn't decided on what things PricklePoints™ can get you. Hmm...

(the following list is tentative and subject to change)

100 PricklePoints™: you win a pineapple. A real, regular pineapple, not one made of diamonds or anything. Go to the grocery store and buy a pineapple. Send me an unaltered copy/image of the receipt and I'll send you a rebate for the cost. (This item redeemable only for residents of the United States.)

What, not exciting enough? Very well.

250 PricklePoints™: you win a poem about you, written by me. Either that, or a chocolate orange. Your choice.

500 PricklePoints™: you win a CamoBunny. That is, an official knitted CamoBunny mascot. Or if you already have or are getting a bunny, another knitted object of equal value.

750 PricklePoints™: you win a pineapple hat. I don't know how to make one of these yet but I think the picture is hilarious.

Gosh, these stakes are getting high.

1,000 PricklePoints™: you win a kiss from me. What sort of kiss is up to my choosing, whether it be peck, continental, blown, 'eskimo' (they really ought to come up with a better name for that one), 'of death', french, butterfly, goodbye, doggiestyle, Hershey's, or whatever I decide.

Edit: due to lack of interest, the prize at this point level has been changed to a BoRSCHT. Not the soup, but a bag-o-random-stuff-collected-from-here-and-there.

I haven't any ideas for more PricklePoints™ contests at present. If you want to submit contest ideas, you may. Just be aware that if you submit the idea, you may not eligible to win the particular contest that you submit unless the idea is fairly non-specific (just to be fair). And, that you would not feel discouraged, you may also submit ideas about items for which you'd like to redeem your PricklePoints™.

Good luck everyone.

Today's featured artist

2006-04-12T15:03:00.000-05:00

In keeping with our tradition of bringing you the finest in food and music experiences, the Prickly Pineapple is proud to present today's featured artist: das Gemüseorchester.

I can't decide whether I like their old stuff or their newer stuff better.

In any case, enjoy!

Bizarre gastronomy

2006-04-11T11:37:00.000-05:00

My ears perked up at the topic of this week's "To the Best of Our Knowledge": food. The first segment was an enjoyable listen, and I wanted to share it with you. You can try this link, although I don't know if it will work.

Searching the web for this program yielded the following description:

Stefan Gates is the author of and a self-described "Gastronaut"— someone who'll stop at nothing to experience a transcendent moment through food, no matter how bizarre. Gates tells Steve Paulson how to stage a backyard barbecue that takes about a week and feeds 60 and what to serve at an orgy.

I am disappointed with their synopsis. What of the aftershave-marinated meat? And the quote about "golden poo" (spoken in a British accent)? What were they thinking?

I didn't get to hear the entire show. You can tell me what you think.

Best. Coffee. Ever.

2006-04-10T12:25:00.000-05:00

Some photos

2006-04-07T07:49:00.000-05:00

These are posted primarily for SuoMies, who probably won't see them unless Saara tells him to look. These photos are of the two chandelier sculptures by Dale Chihuly that hang in Benaroya Symphony Hall in Seattle. The sculptures are entitled Crystal Cascade.

Anyway, straying from my usual best-for-last tendencies, I felt compelled to open with the spiral detail above. That was the best one. In general, my shots were limited by the fact that the pieces were hanging way up above me and in front of giant windows.

Now let's back up a little for some more detail shots. Click on them to see better.

I like the color on that last one but I took it in a hurry and so the composition is a bit off. All of these were taken at the same time of day and in the same lighting. It's amazing how different things look depending on your camera settings.

I didn't get good detail shots of the second chandelier, but the details look so different between the chandeliers I want to show you anyway.

And now we back up some more so that you can see the general shape of the two sculptures. I wish there had been a better vantage point from which to take these.

The first:

The second:

Here is a link to some professional photos taken of the pieces, just so you know what they truly look like. Click through, forward and back, for some cool images.

The end.

Contest #2

2006-04-04T18:02:00.000-05:00

Contest #2 is now closed.

Don't remember the contest? Yes, it has been a long, long time. I've been waiting for someone to come up with the perfect caption for the hilarious angry baby picture.

The winner is Puffintoad. She only gets half the Pricklepoints™, though, because I kind of helped her come up with it a tiny bit (while we were talking about something, she said, "there's your caption for that one picture") and then I appended the subtitle.

The caption?

Surprised by Gas: the face of my early life

Twenty-five Pricklepoints™ to you if you can name one of the two references for this caption.

Today I am feeling ...

2006-04-04T12:41:00.000-05:00

... delightfully prickly!

Big ol' pie

2006-04-04T10:54:00.000-05:00

... which serves as further proof that quantity is by no means indicative of quality.

Puffintoad and I were delighted by the sheer enormity of the pie. It was large. Large and in charge. It commanded our attention and demanded that we order a slice. Each. We couldn't think clearly under its influences, so we did.

No photos could do it justice. It was like trying to take a picture of the Eiffel tower; how can you take a picture of something that big when you're up that close? I tried taking a shot with a dime balanced on the edge of the plate for size reference.

As far as flavor was concerned, it just tasted like cream that had been whipped up with some cocoa. I opted not to finish mine and brought it home. Puffintoad bravely ate the whole thing and then proceeded to feel ill and lose sleep because of it.

So was it good? Not really. But it was big.

We wish...

2006-03-15T13:39:00.000-06:00

The Prickly Pineapple wishes it could be like the Samurai Delicatessen.

Happy Explain-Your-Addiction Day

2006-03-15T11:58:00.000-06:00

"I am addicted to blogging, knitting, and music (all of these in the psychological sense). I may be addicted to attention and compliments. I am developing an addiction to lazy days. I wish I were addicted to exercise and a healthful lifestyle. I used to be addicted to (but was never dependent on) caffeine. I'm not anymore."

1. Blogging. Perhaps I am addicted to the internet as a whole. Part of it is that I believe I may still suffer from a mild form of PhonePhobia. Blogging is an expressive exercise that allows me to stay in contact with old friends and to make silly jokes with strangers all while trying to keep up my writing skills (although my writing skills seem to have deteriorated). There is an element of instant gratification to it, seeing your words published in a polished format instantly. That is why I like it.

2. Knitting. I have already explained this. Most recently I've discovered that I also enjoy watching things come into shape before my very eyes, and it does take a little bit of patience so I may have my feeling of worthwhile accomplishment as well. And the yarns are soft and their colors are preeetty.

3. Music. What can I say? It lives in me. It helps me live. I go into withdrawal (in many senses of the word) if I go too long without hearing it or making it. Once I gave it up for a whole week. I nearly died.

4. Attention and compliments. Obviously. When you grow up without them and suddenly start to receive them, the rush is even more potent. This may be another reason why I have such a fabulous shoe collection.

5. Lazy days. I am happy to report that I am no longer a workaholic. I enjoy my days at home with no particular place to go. Which leads to

6. Exercise and a healthful lifestyle. Know their benefits. Need them. Wish it could be so easy as to be addicted to them so I could just do them.

7. Caffeine. Though my performance improves markedly while I am caffeinated (I still believe my medical school neurology rotation was my best ever because of caffeine), sudden discontinuation after regular mild use triggers the classic caffeine-withdrawal migraine. Right frontal. Terrible, terrible, terrible. So not worth it, and not worth having one's routine enslaved to it (when can I get some coffee? I don't want a headache today).

And I think that does it.

Explain your addiction

2006-03-13T14:47:00.000-06:00

The word "addiction" carries a certain stigma. People are afraid to use lip balm or nasal spray because somewhere along the way, someone labeled them "addictive." That's ridiculous.

Addiction, by strict medical definition, may not necessarily mean dependence nor habituation. It simply means that one's body has undergone change to accommodate for the regular intake, use, or application of the thing in question. It is when this physiological change is accompanied by a psychological change, a perceived need for said substance, that dependence and habituation come into play. One can have true physical symptoms of withdrawal without psychological dependence. Examples of this would be the caffeine withdrawal migraine and rebound congestion from prolonged use of nasal spray.

You know what? Nevermind. I don't want to justify the use of the word "addiction" in a medical context at all.

Anyway, because of the aforementioned stigma, most people consider themselves addiction-free. I seriously doubt that is the case.

I think we should have an official "Explain your addiction" day. What do you think? How about March 15? It'd be a day when you have to explain why you're addicted to something. Oh, and on "Explain your addiction" day other people get to point out addictions of which you may not be aware. I think it would force people to realize what they're addicted to and perhaps stop some their unhealthy addictions. Maybe they'd even share some healthy ones. Things like God, air, sleep, and food don't count, silly.

What are your addictions? What are your former addictions? Is there anything to which you wish you were addicted?

Here, I'll go first. It's two days early, but that ought to give you some time to think about it. Since it's early I'll hold off on the explanations.

I am addicted to blogging, knitting, and music (all of these in the psychological sense). I may be addicted to attention and compliments. I am developing an addiction to lazy days.

I wish I were addicted to exercise and a healthful lifestyle.

I used to be addicted to (but was never dependent on) caffeine. I'm not anymore.

Okay. Now you.

Contentment

2006-03-08T16:36:00.000-06:00

So I have downloaded a free thingie from an airline that tells me when there are airfare specials and offers special fares for people who subscribe to this service. I am happy to report that there are special fare offers nearly every day. So all the time I am looking to see where I could fly for cheapcheap from my city. The cities vary from day to day.

I am happy to report that there is nowhere I am presently longing to go.

I have no desire to escape or run away from the place where I am. I am content to hang out here at the Prickly Pineapple and go about my business.

Perhaps knowing that my time here is limited helps. Perhaps having planned a vacationette (5 days is so short!) at the end of the month helps. I don't know. What I do know is that the travel bug within me is currently dormant and has been since Madrid. No, Taipei.

And to those who pooh-pooh the place where I live, I say to you, pooh-pooh too. It is a blessing to be able to be content with life independent of circumstances afforded by your geographic location. I challenge you to try it.

The triangle

2006-03-06T18:52:00.000-06:00

If you could learn to play an instrument, what instrument would it be?

If I could learn any new instrument I wanted, I would learn to play the triangle.

I would begin by taking triangle lessons. I'd have a rocky start, seeing as how it is always more difficult for adults to learn new instruments. I would suffer patiently through triangle classes with elementary schoolers, being the "slow adult" in the class. I'd eventually acquire the technical skills but suddenly experience a period of percussionist's block. Just when that affliction faded, my triangle career would be threatened by frightening carpal tunnel symptoms, and I'd have to spend months in rehab, re-vamping my technical skills to be ergonomically correct.

Right after that I'd have a huge breakthrough. I'd become famous for my triangular virtuosity. I'd perfect the delivery of a rendition of Jobim's "One Note Samba" that would rouse audiences to riotous frenzy. After a brilliant career of acclaimed performances I'd being composing. I'd start with simple triangle choruses. Then I'd move on to innovative works such as "Symphony for Triangle with Children and Soapbubbles" (review: a feast for the ears and eyes, with the beauty in the rainbow of bubbles blown from the thirty-two triangles dipped in soapy water rivaled only by the rainbow of diversity in the twenty children so carefully hired from all over the world to hum harmoniously along).

I might even be so bold as to attempt to introduce design variations on my instrument, which I would give such names as the "square," or the "trapezoid." This would be met with staunch opposition from the music world. Critics would decry my descent into "a mindless reactionary style, heralding the onset of either madness or just severe poor taste." Controversy would follow me about, as some would celebrate me, while others would label me a fraud. Drugs would be implicated. Finally, the fat lady would let out a shrill high E, and a VH1 special would be made, signaling the end of my career. I'd be left penniless, my reputation as a musician forever destroyed.

Maybe not the triangle after all.

Ooh, what about the jaw harp?

Obligatory knitblog

2006-02-28T12:26:00.000-06:00

I have lots of blogs.

Sometimes I blog about knitting too. It's probably not very interesting to some of you, despite the fact that I really hold back on how much I say about it. So now I have started the obligatory knitblog.

I'll probably still post little things here and there about my finished projects, but now I can write about all the things that are boring to non-knitters on the knitblog. Sounds appropriate, don't you think?

More comfort food

2006-02-27T21:55:00.000-06:00

I am in search of the Nabisco Pinwheel.
When last it was seen, the package looked like this:

I have been unsuccessful in my search thus far. If anyone has seen the Pinwheel cookie, know that information leading to its purchase will be rewarded. Probably with Pricklepoints™. Or you can have some of my Pinwheels once I buy them. Yes yes, that's it. A date with me, for afternoon tea, where Pinwheels will be served.

I was going to switch to Mallomars, but I can't find those either.

Update

2006-02-26T23:54:00.000-06:00

I now smell like ramen.

Evidently still looking for comfort, I had ramen tonight. I had my bathrobe on for warmth. Of course I spilled ramen soup on my bathrobe.

Tonight I may be a pathetic slob, but I smell delicious.

: )

Comfort food

2006-02-23T21:31:00.000-06:00

Augh. I've been feeling bad all day. Still recovering from last night's very bad worknight and an equally bad headache. I imagine this is what it would feel like to be hungover.

If anyone could hook me up with some authentic chinese ramen I'd be so all about that.

No?

Guess I'll just crave it 'til Sunday.

Small and spicy

2006-02-22T12:22:00.000-06:00

I know the pictures of the knit bunnies I've been making have been quite popular,

but THIS is one of the most awesome cute things that I'VE ever seen.

Small and spicy. Like me.

Question

2006-02-16T22:07:00.000-06:00

But you haven't answered my question yet!

If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?

Not what you want to be, but what you would actually be. And more importantly, why?

Puffintoad is the only one who's replied (pomegranate). And I, of course, am still prickly and pineappley as ever.

And Thérèse, I don't think "cheeseburger" counts, unless you provide a very strong argument indeed.

My friend's wife

2006-02-14T11:08:00.000-06:00

Somehow, she manages to make even a poncho look sort of elegant and dispel my anti-poncho sentiments.

When good food goes bad

2006-02-13T22:07:00.000-06:00

A certain odor hung in the air at the Prickly Pineapple. What's the word? Sour... no.

Rancid.

Alas.

I've never smelled anything that could be described as rancid before. How did that happen? I bought the meat quite recently.

Ah well.

And that, my friend, is why the candles.

Hot and cold

2006-02-10T12:10:00.000-06:00

Today is a hot tea and sushi kind of day.

Unfortunately, hot tea and sushi is a social meal, not a meal for one alone.

Anybody for a hot tea and sushi lunch? Maybe I'll just go anyway.

Craving

2006-02-06T20:38:00.000-06:00

Chocolate cake.

I don't know why. I don't usually even like chocolate cake.

Dear Prickly...

2006-02-06T13:57:00.000-06:00

Inspired by the recent blogstalking incident and having received a few related questions, I'm getting ready to write my thoughts on blog etiquette. Anyone have any thoughts or pet peeves they'd like me to share/address?

2006-01-30T12:12:00.000-06:00

And here is a woman after my own heart.

And now I know what I'm having for lunch today.

2006-01-28T16:19:00.000-06:00

Gong xi fa cai.

Realization

2006-01-26T13:05:00.000-06:00

Teavana may have made me freak out yesterday, but Bodum has always been the one the rocks my world.

Discovery

2006-01-25T19:04:00.000-06:00

I am completely freaking out.

The mall just opened one of these stores.

Sure, when the shock wears off I'll probably find it poser and overpriced, but for now, there's a place where I can get my tea stuff without having to go overseas.

Camomom and I once talked about opening up a sit-down teahouse in our spare time with our spare money, just for fun. We would do it if there were a market for it. Then I would see Teavana as the competition.

Today I am feeling...

2006-01-22T17:51:00.000-06:00

... petulant.

January is...

2006-01-20T17:09:00.000-06:00

(doo doo DOO!)

National Blood Donor Month!

Did you know that you can save lives just by sitting there and maybe eating a cookie and drinking some juice?

People roll their eyes when they hear the "save lives" bit, but it's true. I've seen it my very self. I've seen pale, ill children become pink and healthy before my eyes because nice people donated blood. And did you know? Your one donation of blood could save the life of an adult like you imagine, or it could save the lives of several little bitty babies. Yes, even babies need transfusions— fairly commonly in intensive care units.

What are you doing with your blood? Are you, like, using all of it? I happen to know for a medical fact that most of you have some to spare.

Come on, people. I donated my hair to Locks of Love in June and it STILL hasn't grown back. Gratifying as that was, I could have donated blood several times over by now (i.e. if I met the weight requirement).

I've devoted my career to healing kids. Coming to me are long hours, sleepless nights, stressful responsibilities of making sure children survive in the ICU every single night. I am going to be ordering blood transfusions and I need for there to be blood in the bank when that happens. The least you could do is fill out a form and eat a cookie to make sure it's there.

Yay, PuffinToad!

Good news

2006-01-18T12:05:00.000-06:00

So here is a story on the Eschemo Survivor.

There are some major problems with the writing, the foremost being that they completely butchered Nora's last name, but it's super cool that my friend Dr. Nagaruk had the opportunity to tell a little bit of her story.

She's so awesome. I wish you could see her wedding photo better.

Donate, people. I am not allowed so I'm telling you to. Give blood and sign up for the bone marrow registry.

*Addendum: I e-mailed the news station and they have corrected their misspelling of Nora's last name. I think they had spelled it "Noranagruk" before. I found that pretty funny. Did they e-mail me back to thank me for pointing it out? Noooooo. In return for the no thanks, I will not tell them that the intro makes it sound as though more than 1,000 Alaskans were diagnosed with leukemia last month instead of just Susan Butcher, that her brother spells his name Wil, and that one shouldn't begin a sentence with a conjunction in professional writing. Thhbbbbbpt. :P

The tragedy of food allergy

2006-01-17T22:55:00.000-06:00

I have to make the little good-bad-good sandwich with this post.

Ummm.... Thank God I'm not allergic to peanuts, so I can eat peanut butter as much as I please.

Okay. Now for the bad. Tonight I have discovered that I am allergic to (drumroll)...

Bleu cheese.

Well duh. With my severe mold allergy, how could I not expect this? A couple of bites of the stinky stuff (Roquefort, I think?) and my mouth was crawling with little itches. If I had eaten any more the little buggers would have crawled down into my throat and up into my ears. Shudder.

I'm also allergic to all melons. I am mildly allergic to nectarines (my favorite) and mangos, but that is controllable with medicines. I am allergic to uncooked pecans, walnuts, and dates.

Please no jokes about the dates. Let me make them myself. Wink, wink.

It's mildly tragic, that a would-be foodie such as myself would have oral allergies as well as lactose intolerance. I'm sure you really wanted to know these things.

I am not allergic to chocolate or wine. That's the good thing that ends this food allergy sandwich.

Good night.

Weak wasabi

2006-01-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

So tell me what you think about wasabi.

Tonight's sushi dinner left me mildly unfulfilled, partially because I was still a little hungry after polishing off our platter. I couldn't figure out the other reason until just now: the wasabi was too weak.

Wasabi was meant to have a kick. It supposedly has all kinds of properties. No, don't say it... "oh, yeah! It clears out my sinuses." Har-dee-har-har. Ugh. Everybody says that without really knowing what it means. But I digress. To wasabi have been attributed properties most miraculous, from the antibacterial to the aphrodisiac to the anticarcinogenic. I don't know if I believe them (yeah, yeah, isothiocyanates, bla bla bla), but I do know wasabi is supposed to have flavor. A good flavor, not just a strong painful sensation.

Please, no stories about how once you tried wasabi and you were surprised and it made tears come out of your eyes. Yawn. Tell me something novel. Something, I don't know, interesting. Go ahead. I challenge you.

In the meantime, I'll keep on grousing about the weak wasabi substitute we got served tonight.

Good to hear

2006-01-08T20:28:00.000-06:00

Radio program.

Resolution

2006-01-04T22:14:00.000-06:00

I've changed my mind. Tonight this idea popped into my head and won't go away. Even though I generally do not make New Year's resolutions, I'm inspired to make one because this year (so far) has been one of such hope and gratitude. Every day this year, preferably in the morning, I will choose something that I am thankful for and express my gratitude, and think on that throughout each day.

Since I'm behind, here are my first four things in retrospect:
1/1: for hugs from new friends.
1/2: for possibilities and potential for change.
1/3: for the gift of a remarkably easy work day on 1/2.
1/4: for my friend Sarah because she's so cool.

Now, I may or may not choose to share these publicly. And these things may be profound, or they may be quite shallow. I may choose to repeat things as well. Just so you know. Listen to me, setting rules for myself. I am daunted by the idea of finding 365 things to be thankful for. We'll see how it goes. Wish me well!

Addendum: I'll be keeping track here.
Addendum 2: Wow, what bad writing this was the first time around! I can't believe it. It's fixed now. Forgive me.

Pediatrician recommended

2006-01-03T14:42:00.000-06:00

Do you have a child?

Does your child spend more of the night awake than you do? (Ahem! CKirkough!)

That's not right.

Here's a book recommended by pediatricians across the country.

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, by Richard Ferber, MD.

I haven't read the whole thing myself, I admit that. The Ferber method, however, is approved and endorsed by many pediatricians who are parents as well. Not being one of those (i.e. a parent), I must give advice accompanied by the disclaimer, "Consider the source."

No, Ferber did not pay me to plug his book. It's just that sleep-deprived parents ought to know this stuff.

Does your baby cry A LOT? Learn the 5 S's of the calm infant.

Swaddling-- really tight!
Side-- put your baby on his/her side. This used to be Stomach but that S correlates with SIDS*.
Shushing-- like it sounds. But really loud and long. SHHHHHHHH!
Swinging-- in your arms, kinda jiggly-like.
Sucking-- pacifiers are called that for a reason. They bring peace!

You could figure out how to do these things on your own (or from me), or you could drop some money on The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, MD. I'd recommend learning how to do these things and just getting your baby quiet without the book unless you really want to spend your precious time reading about why this guy thinks these things work. I mean really. If it works and it's not drugs, do we really care why?

And no, I do not support drugging your toddlers with Benadryl every night before bedtime. That sort of trick should only be used by skilled pediatricians sitting next to naughty children on airplane trips.

*SIDS = Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Please do not put your infant on his/her tummy to sleep before he/she can push up with both arms and lift and control the head! Back or side only!

Resolve

2006-01-01T12:45:00.000-06:00

It's a carpet cleaner.

It's also what everyone lacks, as made evident by the fact that people consider New Year's resolutions to be largely a joke.

We at the Prickly Pineapple do not make New Year's resolutions, so today's question is not "what are your resolutions?" Rather, we want to know what you think of New Year's resolutions. Do you make them? Do you make them to break them? Do you actually try to keep them? Do you make fake resolutions, like "I will not be a cocaine mule in 2006" just because you know you can keep them? (It's just an example, and yes, I have known folks who do that. Make fake resolutions that is, not swallow balloons full of cocaine and transport them for pay.) Is there anyone whose resolution does not involve losing weight or getting in better shape?

Just wondering.

Today's featured meal

2005-12-22T15:14:00.000-06:00

The Prickly Pineapple's featured meal today is a delightful fruit plate.

Golden pineapple (of course!) slices alternating with cantaloupe slices, juicy grapes, sweet strawberries, with sides of a blueberry mini muffin and a cup of cottage cheese, all on a bed of crisp greanleaf lettuce. Add a cup of chicken soup and you've got your rounded meal.

Leftover will be the lettuce (because I'm sure it's just for show; it's gotta be) and the cantaloupe (because I'm allergic). And I put pepper on my cottage cheese. Why, I don't know.

Okay, so now am I an old lady? A fruit plate. What the heck!

Noggin'

2005-12-20T14:28:00.000-06:00

At every Christmas party on every American TV show, there is eggnog. Seems like a holiday tradition around here, no? But...

Why hasn't there been any eggnog at the parties I've been attending? What's wrong with eggnog? Is it going the way of the fruitcake, i.e. is it something people make fun of without having tried it?

I ain't ashamed. I likes me some nog. And I've never even had the kind with rum in it. We'll do that this year and if it's noteworthy I'll let you know what I think.

Happy Christmas

2005-12-19T15:04:00.000-06:00

Mele Kalikimaka, everybody!

In honor of my longings to be on a sunny island, here's a question for you.

How often do you have Christmases that are white?
(I mean with snow, not "white-folk style".)

Here's a better question. Hopefully I'll get a better turn-out than my last attempt at this:

What's on your Christmas list?
Your two front teeth? A hippopotamus?

I always find people's requests interesting and reflective of their personalities. Camomom, for example, wants a Waterpik. What do you think that means?

Reserved

2005-12-09T15:58:00.000-06:00

The Prickly Pineapple will be closed to the general public for a reserved function over the weekend.

Please drop by again next week.

Luv,
the Mgt.

Good grief

2005-12-06T15:20:00.000-06:00

What prickly person could resist posting in complaint about Christmastime commercialism?

Pathetic is the perfect word to describe this sad phenomenon. It's a cute idea, but not after this sort of exploitation.

Yes, moms and dads. Be sure to add a little extra to your beloved college-aged son or daughter's funds so they can blow it on overpriced trendy crap like this.

Someone had to say it... and let it begin with me.

Quotation

2005-12-05T14:31:00.000-06:00

"Pineapples can kill you."

—Puffintoad, 12/04/2005

Holiday excitement

2005-12-05T12:43:00.000-06:00

For some reason, I am VERY EXCITED about the holiday season this year. Seeing lights, decorations, hearing the music, and smelling the sweet and spicy baked goods all put a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart. I am even excited to do the cooking I'll be doing for the parties and potlucks between now and then.

I admit that this is unusual for me. What perplexes me is that I can't figure out why I'm so excited this year. Nothing special will happen this particular December 25th. For reasons beyond my control, there will be no Christmas decorations, no tree, no lights, no special meal at my family's home.

Perhaps that is why I am celebrating now. Speaking of now, now here's the Prickly Pineapple's question for you. What gets you excited about Christmas?

Today's featured meal

2005-12-02T15:29:00.000-06:00

Triscuits and tiramisu.

Enough said.

Today's featured meal

2005-11-30T21:02:00.000-06:00

Vanilla Ensure and chocolate chips mixed with peanut butter chips out of the little baggie sitting in front of me.

Rough day at the Prickly.